That fucker finally died, and left me
With all the memories of fumbling around
In the dank darkness of the cellar down
At the bottom of the stairs, second to last
Step always creaked, and my face streaked
When the tears would roll down and down.
Down and down, goddammit. Down went the gown
With hands pawing such places as the deer would
Pant for water, drinking even the dew from the blades,
Grasses in the meadow green, early morning mist
Settling over everything green, hidden bliss
Is what he must have felt as I pretended to be a doll.
Barbie always smiles after all, right? No fight.
No call in the dark for mommy’s paregoric. No cold
Rag for the fevered forehead, nothing so bold
Can be done. It is finished. And I am again – a girl.